Mormon Folklore

What does a “good priesthood holder” look like? In a recent article entitled The Devil Wears Dockers that regular commenter Costanza sent to me, Robert Kirby talks about a Stake President who counseled members of his stake to avoid certain brands of clothing while carrying out home teaching and visiting teaching assignments, as well as to only wear “Sunday best” in engagement and wedding photos and to exclude family members from such photos who were not so attired. Righteous priesthood holders were also to be clean shaven. Like all good satire, I am not sure whether Kirby is telling the truth, making it up, or stretching it a bit. It seems possible that a Stake President somewhere could decide to do the General Authorities one better and get his members to live up to a “higher standard” (methinks Elder Knudsen would approve of this action), but it’s just enough over the top that I have my doubts.

Although most people think of folklore in terms of stories (folktales, fairy tales, jokes) or songs, dress and attire are an important part of folklore and they convey meaning. As Kirby points out in the article, he’s have a hard time taking his bishop seriously if he wore baggy shorts and a wife-beater to the pulpit. So what does a righteous priesthood holder or a “valiant sister” in the Church look like? (Please realize that I am dealing in our cultural stereotypes here, not in some sort of absolutist statement about what they should look like.) Does the ideal vary depending on where you live?

I want to let you in on a little secret. When I was 16 years old, I was in a plane crash and had a near death experience. It is one of the reasons I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the church is True. Let me tell you about it.
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For those of you who doubt, here is some proof from an eye witness:

To the editors of the Louisiana Republican (October 18, 1822)

Gentlemen: –

In the course of my observation & travels through several parts of the United States, I have kept minutes of the most remarkable events which have occurred under my own observation, extracts from which I design, occasionally, to submit to you, and if you think them worthy of insertion in your useful paper, you are at liberty to use them accordingly.
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Because the divorce rate is what it is, I felt the need for a freindly little reminder. I will be giving this lesson tomorrow in Elder’s Quorum and encouraging each Elder to see to it that his wife learns what needs to happen to get families back to where they ought to be.

I wish I could claim authorship of this sage advice, but I am only a conduit through which the Lord communicates His Truth. Sister Jessawhy, I really hope you are reading. Sister Irene, I think you may have some repenting to do:
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We recently passed what would have been the 36th birthday of my best friend growing up. His name was Kevin and he passed away a few years ago. When I heard the news, I sat and wrote as many stories as I could remember. Those narratives live with me now — they have tremendous power and are of great value to me. They are a part of my personal folklore.

I am sure that each of you have narratives of family or friends that are powerful and valuable to you — narratives that keep you connected in ways that nothing else can. I want to share some of my narratives with you here in this tribute to my dear friend. It’s a bit of a read, but I hope you will enjoy it.
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Costanza made a recent reference to the TV Show Three’s Company (“Come and knock on our door…”). My initial reaction when I read it was, “wow – I was not allowed to watch Three’s Company when I was a kid (“…we’ve been waiting for you”) – which only made me want to watch it more.
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If creative dating is a Mormon art form, is BYU the Louvre?

I’ll never forget the time my roommate and I went to Heritage Halls to pick up our dates freshman year. Their roommates answered the door and gave us the first clue – it was a scavenger hunt and the girls were the prize. We had to go to a little supermarket and find the person in the red hat carrying the carton of milk – she would have our next clue. Of course she made us sing to get it. Then we had to go to the Wilk, and then the Indian statue next to the library, and then the checkerboard – but that’s when our dates jumped out and said “what are you doing at the checkerboard?”
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One of our greatest church hymns says, “If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay. Simply turn it upside down, and smile that frown away.”

I smile all the time. Even when I am feeling frownie inside (no one like as a frownie face) – even when I’m not feeling particularly pleased or when I see things that I do not approve of – I smile – always.

Why?

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Just for fun, I thought I’d mention a couple of funny things I’d heard lately. We have a little boy in my son’s primary class who always talks about the “Holy Toast” and my seven-year-old daughter today asked me why we always talk about “Agent Z” in church. (For what it’s worth, my kids were watching Buzz Lightyear: Star Command: The Adventure Begins and one of the bad guys in it is called “Agent Z”.) These little mishearings are called mondegreens, which comes from an (apocryphal?) mishearing of “and laid him on the green” as “and Lady Mondegreen.” They occur where we mishear something and come up with a phonetically similar reading of the sounds that yields different words. As another example, I recently read on another blog (I can’t remember where now) about someone who blessed his baby with a “love of fine cheeses.” People commented on how silly this was until another poster pointed out that he had probably actually said “love to find Jesus,” which seems a little more likely (although I have to say that I loved the specificity of the first version: maybe the father was a dairyman?).

What other mondegreens have you heard in church?

(By the way, my wife lays claim to the kid’s book title Agent Z and the Holy Toast, so if anyone steals it, you’ll have to answer to her. )
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A few weeks ago I started writing a little story over email with my ten-year-old daughter. My job requires that I travel, and I have been away more than I have been home the past few months, so this has been a way that we have kept in touch despite the distance. My daughter has picked the character and the setting and told me some things she wants to see, and now it is up to me to build the story.

She wants a hero quest, and my idea is to write a sort of allegory – a quest where each step of the way a new insight is learned and the hero is pointed to the next task. This is a traditional narrative structure that I am sure is familiar to all of you. I want to use this allegory as a way to explore the articles of faith and I would like to ask for your help.
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