Mormon Folklore

DON’T BE FOOLED!!!

In case anyone is wondering, Zombies are of the devil. Especially red-headed ones.

I don’t know if there is any better way to say it than that. I think we all know of experiences where the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has bestowed upon us answers to our prayers, even when those answers are not exactly what we were expecting.

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I want to clear this up once and for all. I have heard far too many people claim that the doctrine of the three degrees of glory was borrowed from Emanuel Swedenborg’s “Heaven and Hell” (1758) in which he wrote of three heavens that are entirely distinct from each other, and claimed that he had visited and seen the inhabitants in vision. They say that Joseph Smith stole the doctrine from him, and that it is all just a bunch of folklore. To them I can only say…
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Need to get a personal response from God but not having much luck? Prayer and fasting not working as well as you want it too? Well, maybe there’s something you overlooked (This was just too good to ignore).

I read something the other day that once again proves The Church is True!

Apparently, Mother Teresa recently admitted that she never felt the spirit of the Lord. We didn’t even need Brother Marcelo Ixtlilxochitl Marrón and his unique gifts for this confession. She wrote it in letters so we know it to be true.

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One of my proudest moments as a father came this weekend when I talked with my oldest daughter on the phone. She went down to San Diego with her aunt Lisa, newly off her mission, to accompany her as she spoke at a singles ward down there.

“So how was it?” I asked.

“Dad — I experienced the most boring thing of my life.”

“Oh yeah? What was that?”
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It is my duty to inform you that this website has been deemed INAPROPRIATE by the powers that be. It is not important how this blog came to our attention. Suffice it to say, it did. We have your names. We have your IP addresses. Over the past few weeks we have removed any and all direct links to this blog. Certain things should not be taken lightly and certain things should not be mocked. We also have it from a reliable source that the administrator of this blog has demonstrated extreme irreverence on more than one occasion. He also partakes of the sacrament with his left hand (when he partakes of it at all) simply for sport. This blog has been a blight upon the face of the Mormon bloggernacle. Shame be upon him and shame be upon you for supporting such irreverence. May the Lord in his mercy take pity on you all.

This email came to me from my mother who recently moved to Utah. Maybe it shows how gullible Mormons can be (and then again…)
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I first read this in a book called “Visions of the Latter Days” by Pioneer Press (1983) when I was attending the Lord’s University of Brigham Young. I have since seen the text reprinted several places, so I know it must be true.

President Washington’s vision was related to a reporter named Wesley Bradshaw by an officer who served under General Washington at Valley Forge, named Anthony Sherman. In the vision, Washington saw three great trials that would overtake the country. These were the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, and the greatest threat, a war fought on the soil of the United States near the time of Jesus’ return to reign on the earth. It is this third battle, that hold’s our interest as that day draws near.
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While I hesitate to use such bawdy, contemporary language, there is really no other way to say it. This is very cool!

We all know that in the last days the constitution will hang by a thread and that the church will save this great country. But do we know where that truth was first revealed? The answer: The White Horse prophest.

Lest I be accused of plagerism again by someone who stole her own name from the vanity she feels towards first mother of us all (she who’s sin brought all the sorrows of mortality upon us), let me inequivicly state that I did not write the following prophesy. The origin is divine. What other option is there? (unless of course it is the “other” option, and anyone who reads this with the proper spirit will feel the tingly truth all the way to his toes!) It’s True, brothers and sisters. All of it.
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