Mormon Folklore

Well, the rumors were right. They split our ward last week, and they did not take my suggestions. Not only am I still a primary teacher, but the Lord has decided in His infinite wisdom to give me an even greater test. Brother Snell was made our new bishop.

Now I knew Brother Snell on my mission, before I was AP, when he was Elder Snell (although he asked everyone just to call him “Jon” — I still called him Elder, out of respect for the tag). He always slept in and he never practiced his language training. Even in the Los Angeles English Speaking Mission, you need to magnify your calling and be prepared. There are a lot of different ethnics out there.

So now I have to conduct tithing settlement with the guy who once spit on his companion. I would rather confess my sins to Bishop Higgins (if I actually had any sins to confess). The Lord is testing me, brothers and sisters.

But on the bright side, my first lesson with the CTR children was an effective one. They were a rowdy little bunch and had terrible manners. I have scheduled a meeting with their parents to improve their discipline at home. From the looks of it, they probably need a few lessons themselves.

The lesson from the manual was on the Good Shephard, and I think they will always remember it:

A shepherd cares for his flock. He loves them and protects them from wolves and bad weather. He painstakenly keeps them safe from all harm, whether it is 1 or 99, so that when the master of the flock is ready, he can come and take them and shear them and eat them. But only the ones who stray from the flock and are loud and noisy and don’t keep their little sheep-bottoms on their chairs.

That got their attention. I’m actually looking forward to next week. I’m going to bring my electric clippers.