Mormon Folklore

I have always found it very profound that those of us who are righteous all wear the armor of righteousness. It’s such a testament of the Truthfulness of righteousness and the strength or armor.

A very sincere brother who is “looking” recently asked me about my righteousness. It happens quite often, as I am sure you can imagine, and I thought it was an excellent question – one we should ask ourselves everyday. Or at least once a week during the sacrament.

His question to me was: what makes you such a wonderfully righteous person?

I will share with you my answer, but I would really like to hear from you.

Dear Brother Knudsen,

You are such an amazing example. It’s no wonder that the Lord tests you as often as He does. Please tell me, what makes you such a wonderfully righteous person?

My Humble Brother in Truth,

It is simply because I have never missed a day of church, or even the weekend evening stake and ward conference meetings that some members view as “optional.” I always say my morning, afternoon, and evening prayers. I pay my tithing early, and while I continue to follow the guidance in the white missionary handbook prohibiting excessive fasting, I still pay the equivalent of 5 meals in fast offerings instead of the more common, less-valiant rule of 2. I keep a year supply, and can all my own food. I keep the word of wisdom and vigilently avoid those who do not. I have never had an impure thought and I constantly hum church hymns just in case. I rarely laugh and when I do it is never loud. I share the gospel with everyone I meet, even the people who I can tell would make terrible Mormons. I complete my hometeaching on the first day of every month, sometimes within the first hour if my assigned families’ doors are not locked. I can quote the scriptures forwards and sideways, but not backwards (because that is of the devil). I hold family home evening every monday night, even though I live on my own. And on top of all that, I obey all traffic regulations, I never pop a grape in my mouth at the grocery store without paying for it up at the register, and I keep myself impeccably groomed.

Shall I keep going? Of course the Lord is going to test me. And I am going to pass with flying colors every time. Because many are called, but few are Knudsen.

So please tell me, dear reader, what makes you so righteous?