Comments on: How to prepare the Sacrament http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/ A satirical look at TRUTH through the mote-free eyes of Elder Stephen Erastus Knudsen III Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:36:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Simonds Ryder http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1346 Simonds Ryder Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:33:36 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1346 Better not come to my ward Stevie-Boy. They use sourdough bread for the sacrament. Some people even pass the tray down the row with their left hand! Better not come to my ward Stevie-Boy. They use sourdough bread for the sacrament. Some people even pass the tray down the row with their left hand!

]]> By: Stephen Erastus Knudsen III http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1347 Stephen Erastus Knudsen III Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:36:23 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1347 Dear Brother Rider, As long as the sourdough is white and the people passing with their left hand have had their right arms amputated, it is acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. Dear Brother Rider,

As long as the sourdough is white and the people passing with their left hand have had their right arms amputated, it is acceptable in the eyes of the Lord.

]]> By: C J Warburton http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1429 C J Warburton Thu, 01 May 2008 04:19:26 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1429 We have kind of a strange thing going on in our ward. Someone in the bishopric decided that people would be assigned the bread each week, and it was suggested (rather strongly) that it would be really nice if you could make homemade bread. I missed the week that someone decided to make a rather sweet bread. Enjoyable post. We have kind of a strange thing going on in our ward. Someone in the bishopric decided that people would be assigned the bread each week, and it was suggested (rather strongly) that it would be really nice if you could make homemade bread. I missed the week that someone decided to make a rather sweet bread.
Enjoyable post.

]]> By: Stephen Erastus Knudsen III http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1430 Stephen Erastus Knudsen III Thu, 01 May 2008 04:29:04 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1430 Dear Brother CJ, Thank you for alerting me to your Bishop's troubling suggestion. I will look into it, and I would be happy to provide the officially approved recipe for homemade sacrament bread. As a general rule, it should be unleavened and should leave a filmy residue in the mouth that lasts the entire three hour block to ensure full effectiveness by way of a constant pungeant reminder. You know the old saying: "If it doesn't taste quite like atoned sin, it should be wrapped in sackcloth and baked with more ashes." Dear Brother CJ,

Thank you for alerting me to your Bishop’s troubling suggestion. I will look into it, and I would be happy to provide the officially approved recipe for homemade sacrament bread. As a general rule, it should be unleavened and should leave a filmy residue in the mouth that lasts the entire three hour block to ensure full effectiveness by way of a constant pungeant reminder. You know the old saying: “If it doesn’t taste quite like atoned sin, it should be wrapped in sackcloth and baked with more ashes.”

]]> By: C J Warburton http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1431 C J Warburton Thu, 01 May 2008 04:34:27 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1431 Stephen, great. I'm glad you'll be on top of this situation. Although I'm moving out of my current ward into a ward where the bishop actually owns his own bakery franchise, so I'm hoping for a huge improvement in sacrament bread quality--no unleavened stuff for us! Also you should know that I'm a woman. Stephen, great. I’m glad you’ll be on top of this situation. Although I’m moving out of my current ward into a ward where the bishop actually owns his own bakery franchise, so I’m hoping for a huge improvement in sacrament bread quality–no unleavened stuff for us! Also you should know that I’m a woman.

]]> By: Stephen Erastus Knudsen III http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1432 Stephen Erastus Knudsen III Thu, 01 May 2008 04:41:19 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2008/04/20/how-to-prepare-the-sacrament/#comment-1432 Dear Brother CJ, <blockquote>Also you should know that I'm a woman.</blockquote> That's alright, it's not your fault. I won't hold it against you. If it's not too late, maybe you can find a new ward to move into where the bishop is a direct descendant of Aaron. In that case, he can preside without the need of counselors, and he can also use better tasting bread -- it all balances out in the eternal perspecitive because his actual ability to preside single-handedly will be so bad. Dear Brother CJ,

Also you should know that I’m a woman.

That’s alright, it’s not your fault. I won’t hold it against you.

If it’s not too late, maybe you can find a new ward to move into where the bishop is a direct descendant of Aaron. In that case, he can preside without the need of counselors, and he can also use better tasting bread — it all balances out in the eternal perspecitive because his actual ability to preside single-handedly will be so bad.

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