Mormon Folklore

I usually don’t eavesdrop on other peoples’ conversations, because that in and of itself can be a sin, but I couldn’t help but overhear the couple in front of me at church yesterday during the passing of the sacrament. Maybe if they would have been silently praying, as they should have been, to find out which of their friends to introduce to the missionaries this week I would not have overheard them. But, after the hymn was over and the priests were still breaking the bread, the wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, “do they always break the bread during the song, or do they ever break it up ahead of time?” I had to laugh, ever so modestly. Ah, our sweet sisters. But it made me think that there may be others – like converts or inactives or non-Utah Mormons – who might not understand why we do the sacrament the way that we do. So I thought this would be a good time to explain it.

First, it is extremely important to remember that the reason we take the sacrament is to purge from our lives all the sins that we (yes, sometimes even me) have committed the week before. During the blessing, the priesthood power from above passes from the Lord, through the priest, into the bread and water. Then when we partake of the bread and water, we take that power into ourselves, and the purification can take place. Thus, it is extremely important that the right steps be taken to transfer this power from the Lord to us. If things are not done exactly right, it will invalidate the blessing (how many times have you seen a priest get the words wrong and have to repeat the blessing?) and we will be stuck with our sins for a whole nother week. So, as you can see, following the rules exactly is unperative.

So here are the rules for preparing the sacrament, as I plan to give them to the priests in my ward as soon as I am made Bishop:

1. CTW: Choose The White
The right bread is the white bread. White, as we all know, is the eternal mark of purity. Sometimes people bring in whole-wheat bread. If it is made from ingredients out of the bishop’s storehouse then whole-wheat is acceptable, but generally speaking, white is best. Ideally it should be a little old and a little stale, but not yet moldy. If it is too fresh and delicious, it will distract from the overall purpose of the sacrament, and little kids might want to take more than one. We all know that things that are best for you are the things that taste the worst, like medicine or persecution. If you enjoy something, that enjoyment in and of itself is your reward. The best things come from doing the things we enjoy the least.

2. Break it like you mean it
When you break the bread, break it with reverence. Some priests will hold two or more pieces together and rip them up at the same time. This is sloppy, and leads to abnormally shaped sacrament bread. If you were the bread and the bread was you, is that how you would like to be ripped? Make the pieces as square and symmetrical as possible. Don’t pinch as this can make the pieces resemble the apostate Catholic wafer. Also, be sure that you spread the pieces evenly in the tray so that they are all exposed. You don’t want one piece buried under another, or the blessing power will be blocked and will not be able to get to it.

3. Cover cover cover
When you bless the bread, you have to cover every inch of the water with the white eyelet lace tablecloth. When you bless the water, you have to cover ever inch of the bread. This is to keep the blessings directed in the right place. You don’t want the water blessing power going into the bread, nor do you want the bread blessing power going into the water. This would be chaos. Also, when you cover, pay particular attention to the small holes in the eyelet lace. Double up the cloth and close the holes if you have to. Don’t risk allowing the wrong blessing power getting through and mixing things up for members of your congregation. This is their salvation and yours at stake.

4. No pressure, just don’t mess up
When you read the prayer, read carefully. If you say even one word wrong, or hit too long or too short a pause between “God” and the “eternal father,” you will have to do it all again. I am proud to say that I never had to repeat a sacrament prayer. In fact, I still hold the record in my home stake for consecutive blessings without a flub-up. I even made myself a little plaque.

Of course, once you have blessed the sacrament, there is still the small matter of administration by the deacons, which in and of itself can become a disaster. But that is another discussion for another time.