Mormon Folklore

Whenever any potentially sinful thought even attempts to enter my head, I sing it away with a hymn. It’s like taking an empty cardboard toilet paper roll, and shoving dirty cotton balls in it, and then shoving clean ones in to get the dirty ones out. Except that I never put the dirty ones in in the first place.

So, as I was riding my bike to the church the other day (I like to help the missionaries with their weekly district meetings, whether they really want me there or not) a car cut me off and nearly hit me as I was about to turn left (as if he owns the road!). But before I even let myself get angry, I resorted to one of my favorite hymns, We thank thee, Oh God for a Prophet (pg. 19), and low and behold, I realized once again that my anger – as long as I am righteous and grateful – is completely 110% justified.

The revelation came as I was singing the second verse. It’s all about thankfulness and doubting not the Lord’s goodness, and then BAM! – “The wicked that fight against Zion shall surely be smitten at last.”

YES!!!

Now that’s the kind of goodness and mercy I’m talking about!

Take that Mr. Swerving-too-close-to-God’s-servant-in-his-car!

Nothing quite makes me feel as thankful for our Prophet as knowing that they who reject this glad message, shall never such happiness know. (suckas!)