The Tongue of Angels
May 31st, 2007 by Glenn
Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity.
This was Jeffrey R. Holland’s message in this last April 2007 conference. (“The Tongue of Angels,” Ensign, May 2007, 16–18). Specifically, he said:
“Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today.”
He talks about the power of words to build-up and create:
“God said, ‘Let there be light: and there was light.’
Or to tear down and destroy:
“The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones.”
He speaks of the responsibility that men and women have to build up their spouse and their children, to avoid verbal and mental abuse, to avoid complaining, or gossip, or backbiting. He says that the gospel is optimistic, and that pessimism draws people away from God. He counsels that “no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.”
I think this is a lovely goal to strive for and I recognize that I need much more of it in my life, not only as a husband and a father, but also in the workplace and associations at church. I wonder how possible it is to achieve. I would like to know if any of you have any secrets for success in this area. Maybe you can help me work through the following questions:
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• How much of what we say and think is tradition-based (or deeply ingrained habits)? How much are we able to create something new on our own?
• How often do we complain about this-or-that with our spouse (the end of a frustrating day, the story about the idiot who did such-and-such at work)? Is it not healthy to “vent” our frustrations?
• When we see something that is not how it should be with members in our family, how do we approach that with optimism? How do we ensure that the message to change and “repent” of wrongdoings is not interpreted “the wrong way?” (and I am thinking of Elder Bednar’s suggestion that taking offense is a choice we take unto ourselves – Elder Holland says it is also an act we inflict upon others – how do we ensure that our attempt at optimistic correction is not taken as a pessimistic deconstruction?).
• I notice that “truth” is not listed in the three great Christian imperatives we should use with our words. Does this mean that there is room for dishonesty about how we feel or think for the sake of promoting faith and hope and charity (i.e. do I look fat in this tie?)
I will be interested to hear your thoughts.
Not really an answer, but what counts as “lying” varies from culture to culture. In Islam, according to a linguistic analysis I read, untruth is not counted as lying if it serves to preserve a marriage or accomplish certain other noble goals. I’m not arguing that’s the stance we should take, but rather want to point out that truth vs. lying is a culturally defined continuum that varies from place to place.
One way to help speak uplifting things is to always think before speaking. I have to remind myself to think before speaking. I have a tendency to put mouth in gear before engaging brain.
Well said. That is a skill that takes a lot of work to refine. I remember a few months ago in Elders Quorum — the teacher was beginning the lesson with Elder Bednar’s talk on taking offense. He mentioned the question Bednar asks to the inactive member — something like, “why would you intentionally take yourself away from the Lord’s blessings?” Many people in the class started to comment how silly and foolish that was of inactive/less-active members to do. What they didn’t seem to realize was that a less-active member was sitting right up near the front row, and I just cringed with each well-meaning but thoughtless comment. But you’re right — it is so important to look around and think about what impact our words might have on those around us — and it is so easy to forget.
Lynette over at ZD has some interesting things to say on this in her new “The Gospel of Positive Thinking” post.