Comments on: The Word of Wingdom http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/ A satirical look at TRUTH through the mote-free eyes of Elder Stephen Erastus Knudsen III Thu, 04 Dec 2008 04:41:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.3 By: Fenevad http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/#comment-263 Fenevad Sat, 26 May 2007 05:34:42 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/#comment-263 Reminds me of another great bit of “scripture:” <blockquote>ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments. BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments Chapter Two Verses Nine to Twenty One. ANOTHER MONK (reading from bible): And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying “O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin and people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and…” BROTHER MAYNARD: Skip a bit brother… ANOTHER MONK: …Er …oh, yes …and the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”</blockquote> Reminds me of another great bit of “scripture:”

ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments.

BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments Chapter Two Verses Nine to Twenty One.

ANOTHER MONK (reading from bible): And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying “O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin and people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and…”

BROTHER MAYNARD: Skip a bit brother…

ANOTHER MONK: …Er …oh, yes …and the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”

]]> By: Peter Goode http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/#comment-267 Peter Goode Sun, 27 May 2007 00:07:49 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/#comment-267 This is utter sacrilege, Glenn! Mocking the word of wisdom. Have you no dignity? Repent at once lest you be damned. Where is Brother Stephen when you need him? This is utter sacrilege, Glenn! Mocking the word of wisdom. Have you no dignity? Repent at once lest you be damned.

Where is Brother Stephen when you need him?

]]> By: Stephen Erastus Knudsen III http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/#comment-268 Stephen Erastus Knudsen III Sun, 27 May 2007 01:19:35 +0000 http://www.mormonfolklore.org/blog/2007/05/25/the-word-of-wingdom/#comment-268 Brother Goode, Finally, a man who lives up to his name. I absolutely agree, which is why I avoid this kind of food all together. Did you know that they serve these w*ngs in bars? Where people break the Word of Wisdom on a regular basis? If you ask me, w*ngs are just as bad as any other entry drug, like marijuana, or the unmentionables section of the Sears and Roebuck's catalogue. But as I have said many times before, the Lord allows each of us enough rope to hang ourselves, and it is not always up to me to take that rope away. Just remember that there must needs be opposition in all things. The great Nephite nation could not have been judged and destroyed if it had not been for the wickedness of Laman and Lemuel, so we really have them to thank for the whole Book of Mormon. Without Judas we would have had no atonement. And even the Lord needed Lucifer to fall and rebel in order for his plan to succeed. Some people (and yes, of course Lucifer is a person) are just beyond repentance and destined for damnation so that the rest of us can rise to the top. I am afraid it is a lost cause in this case, but rejoice in your own Goodeness. One man's sacrilege is another man's salvation. Don't ever forget that plain and precious gospel truth. Brother Goode,

Finally, a man who lives up to his name. I absolutely agree, which is why I avoid this kind of food all together. Did you know that they serve these w*ngs in bars? Where people break the Word of Wisdom on a regular basis? If you ask me, w*ngs are just as bad as any other entry drug, like marijuana, or the unmentionables section of the Sears and Roebuck’s catalogue.

But as I have said many times before, the Lord allows each of us enough rope to hang ourselves, and it is not always up to me to take that rope away. Just remember that there must needs be opposition in all things. The great Nephite nation could not have been judged and destroyed if it had not been for the wickedness of Laman and Lemuel, so we really have them to thank for the whole Book of Mormon. Without Judas we would have had no atonement. And even the Lord needed Lucifer to fall and rebel in order for his plan to succeed. Some people (and yes, of course Lucifer is a person) are just beyond repentance and destined for damnation so that the rest of us can rise to the top.

I am afraid it is a lost cause in this case, but rejoice in your own Goodeness. One man’s sacrilege is another man’s salvation. Don’t ever forget that plain and precious gospel truth.

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