Mormon Folklore

I would like to recall an event that happened in my mission just before I arrived, a few months before I became AP. As those of you who have righteously served the Lord may be all too painfully aware, not every missionary in the field is serving for the right reasons. This is unfortunate, but must be allowed, as the Lord gives us each enough proverbial rope to either hang ourselves or others, depending on our righteousness.

It so happened that one day, one of these less-than-worthy Elders was clowning around on his bicycle. Such violations only invite the intervention of the Adversary, and this occasion was no exception. While hopping his bicycle from the top of some steps to the middle railing, he fell and broke his leg in three places. The pain was, as it should have been, excruciating. And like the lamenting of the sinful Nephites in the final days of Moroni, he cried out in vain. Unfortunately, neither he nor his companion were prepared with that consecrated substance set aside for the healing of the sick and afflicted, which out of respect I shall not directly name.

So, as this foolish Elder was writhing on the sidewalk in pain, a self-professed evangelical christian woman preacher came by and, seeing the opportunity ripe for personal gain, offered to heal the missionary’s leg on the spot if only he accepted Jesus. It is a testimony to this Elder’s sorry state that he acquiesced, and much to his astonishment, his leg was instantly healed, and in one flashing moment, his faith was irrevocably shattered. How could someone of a lesser faith – someone who the Lord would not permit to hold even the Aaronic priesthood if she were converted to the Truth – succeed in such a miraculous healing?

He made his way straight to the mission home and demanded that the President send him home that very day. The mission President, wisely, agreed to send him home, but only on the condition that the missionary agree to one final priesthood blessing. The missionary reluctantly agreed. The president laid on his hands, pronounced the blessing, and immediately upon “amen” the leg snapped back into its natural broken state. The evil spirit was cast out for good.

Let this be a clear warning to all future, current, and returned missionaries everywhere. Bicycle safety laws are to be obeyed at ALL TIMES. The Lord does not permit horsing around of any kind. Never. Ever.